why write?

why write? well, i suppose the most direct answer to this question is that i’ve realized that i can’t remember most of my life. the more i think about this, the more it bothered me.

now, let’s unpack that sentiment for a second. i want to first acknowledge that it is perfectly normal and even healthy to forget. just as there are neurological mechanisms in our brains for encoding and retaining memories, there are equally important mechanisms for forgetting.

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the solution here really isn’t to try and achieve some level of super-human photographic memory. in fact, the thought of that is unappealing to me because there are definitely moments in my life that i’m more than happy to forget. being too far on the other side of the spectrum presents its own obvious challenges.

the reality is that i, along with the majority of the population, fall somewhere in between these two extremes. one day, when I’m an old lady sitting on my porch, reminiscing on life, i will probably remember falling in love for the first time, or going on that solo trip abroad, or the birth of my children. but most other moments will lack the level of novelty and salience as these life milestones, and therefore will inevitably disappear into oblivion. most of life is just a collection of ordinary moments— which means that, to the average person reading this right now, you are probably living in a soon-to-be forgotten memory.

photographs and home videos have served as a buffer between me and my tendency to forget the ordinary. however, they can only tell half of the story. sure, it’s cool to see how my physical human meat-bag has changed and evolved throughout the years. however, photographs and videos have their limitations as they lack the ability to gander inside the mind. my hope is that these entries can help fill in those gaps and serve as a ‘snapshot’ into what the photographs and videos can’t capture: perspectives, values, ideas, and thoughts. i mostly just think it will be cool to read back on these when i’m older.

in addition, writing serves as a way to express and synthesize the many thoughts that occupy my mind. the act of taking these jumbled-up, oftentimes vague thoughts, feelings, and ideas in my head and externalizing them into written word is very satisfying. it takes mental effort to be able to string together disparate thoughts into one cohesive piece, ready to be consumed by an outside reader, and this is a muscle that i do not want to let atrophy.

the final appeal of writing for me, now especially that i’m choosing to share what i write via platforms such as substack, is the possibility that i am not just writing to an audience of one. having this page means that i get to write about whatever intrigues me at that point of time and possibility connect with others who perhaps are pondering the same things.

hopefully writing about writing isn’t too meta of a first post. stay tuned for more.

cheers,

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